


I Left My Heart In Russia

by thisissirius



Category: JONAS
Genre: F/M, First Kiss, Spies, World Domination
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-20
Updated: 2009-12-20
Packaged: 2017-10-04 17:49:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisissirius/pseuds/thisissirius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Macy is given a special assignment, Kevin gets to date James Bond and Joe is completely pointless. (Will Nick ever get to blow up Russia?)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Left My Heart In Russia

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lizzen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lizzen/gifts).



> Thank you very much to my fabulous beta, th_esaurus. Your input was invaluable :)

Macy Misa was not surprised by many things.

Standing outside of the mall and running into Kevin Lucas _was_ one of those things. Literally running into him, because she was carrying too many bags and he wasn't looking where he was going and the next moment they were both on the floor, apologising over and over again. When she looked up and realised just who she was looking at, Macy blushed and her eyes widened.

"Kevin!" She squeaked, rocking back on her heels.

He, she noticed, still looked amazing. He had awesome sunglasses on that she didn't recognise but his smile was still the same as she remembered. A little too eager but a lot of happy. "Hi, Macy! How are you?"

Macy shrugged and picked up her bags, trying to gather them all together and smooth down her t-shirt at the same time. She probably looked really stupid and Kevin was laughing at her but it was Kevin! and she hadn't seen him since that time Stella and Joe-

"I'm fine," she said, jerking her head back towards the mall. "Just shopping for work. What are you doing here? I thought you'd moved away."

"I'm moving back," Kevin said, as if this was the best news he'd ever imparted to someone. "I moved in with Joe and it's going to be so awesome because we haven't hung out in forever and I just wondered if you wanted to go out for ice cream with me or something?"

Macy opened her mouth to congratulate him and then stopped. "Um. Sorry, what?"

Kevin was blushing, his cheeks blotchy and red and he looked down at the floor. "Ice cream? Later, with me? I have to go and let Joe know but I'd like to go out and catch up with you."

Oh. _Oh_. This was the best day ever and Macy nodded, a little too fast. "I'd like that, please, Kevin, thank you."

Squeezing the hand she was holding too many bags with, Kevin gave her a smaller smile, private and Macy felt her heart skip several hundred beats. "Good. Meet me at the Dairy Queen here, then, okay? About three."

He was off and running across the parking lot but it took Macy about five minutes to pull herself together and start moving.

A date! With _Kevin Lucas_. Amazing.

 

+

 

Stella picked up on the third ring. "Hello?"

"Stella, help me, I am having a major fashion emergency and I know you'd never let me down."

There was a slight pause and then, "I would never let you leave the house without looking completely stunning Macy, you know that. Situation, go."

Macy grinned and dropped on the bed, hooking her feet over the end. "I have a date tonight-"

Stella squealed down the phone and Macy remembered Kevin's face, his big smile and she was excited all over again.

"I know, right? I'm nervous because it's the first time I've been on a date in forever which I sort of blame him for in a way and-"

"Wait, what?"

"Oh." Macy wasn't going to mention that her date was with Kevin because Stella still hadn't forgive Joe for abandoning her back in High school. It was too late now to take it back and Macy sighed. "It's with Kevin."

Stella sucked in a breath. "Kevin as in Kevin of Jonas?"

Macy flopped onto her back, rubbing a hand over her forehead. "I know what happened with Joe, Stel, but this is _Kevin_. You know how I feel about Kevin."

"You know how I feel about Joe - and his brothers. Macy, I hope you have a good time on this date, I really do, but they left me behind, remember?"

"I know," Macy said, sadly. "We are still on for Friday though, right?"

"Of course!" Stella sounded more upbeat about that, so Macy hung up and let the phone fall onto the floor.

Well, this was a dilemma. Stella was the best person she knew for fashion advice - she had always scored before with her best friend's tips but now Macy was on her own. Her wardrobe looked too full all of a sudden, clothes everywhere and she did not relish the task of finding something Kevin would like. She tried to remember what he'd complimented on her before but she couldn't think of anything - and everything she could was either too small or just _gone_. She debated calling her mother but then thought of the seven million disaster dates she'd been on thanks to her mother's advice and stepped away from the phone almost immediately.

"Well, Kevin, I guess this one's going to be all me."

+

Macy had changed a lot since High School and she wasn't quite sure when - and if - she was ever going to tell Kevin about it. She'd like to because she would like to get to know him a lot better, but then she'd have to go through the reveal of what had happened to her since leaving Horace Mantis.

Her exam scores had been so high that she had come home one afternoon to see two strange men standing on her doorstep in dark glasses and suits. Even now, years later, she couldn't remember everything exactly. She remembered being taken around so many blocks, down so many corridors and through so many doors that she thought she wouldn't ever be able to get out again. She remembered sitting down in front of Mr. Smith for the first time and being told that she was going to be a Spy. She remembered laughing, trying to leave and then being shown all the things she could be doing. Martial Arts, training in all sorts of areas from bomb diffusing, hostage situations and hacking into secure computer systems to crochet and decoupage. There were also _guns_. She'd signed up immediately.

Macy Misa was a spy.

Wow, that would have made one hell of a Yearbook entry.

+

She went with a yellow sundress and sandals, forgoing a cardigan because it was summer and far too hot for extra layers. Besides, she was sure Kevin would be gentlemanly enough to wrap his arm around her and let her walk close to him if she was cold and -

_Snap out of it, Macy._

Taking a deep breath and steeling herself for this, which was potentially ridiculous because this was _Kevin_ and she'd known him so long it was stupid to pretend that he wouldn't just smile and whisk her away on a whirlwind date _anyway_.

"Macy! Hey, Macy!" Kevin was standing in front of the ice cream Parlour, looking as stylish as ever and she wondered how they managed without Stella. She clutched her purse closer to her leg, nervous now because he was right here, and smiled.

"Hi."

Inside she was screaming. This was _Kevin Lucas_ and he was going a date with her to get ice cream and it was going to be the best thing that ever happened to her because, hello, Kevin!

"You look nice," Kevin said, his cheeks a little red. He couldn't be blushing, though, because she was Macy and he'd never like her like that. "You have nice shoulders."

It was her turn to blush and she nodded towards the Parlour. "Want to get some ice cream?"

Kevin grinned, his full one with lots of teeth and Macy let him tug her into the shop, words falling fast and eager about rocky road and ice cream scoops and maybe mint and how Nick had choked on a pistachio once and Macy let it wash over her, cheering on the inside, complete with pompoms, about the fact that she was finally on a date with Kevin Lucas.

+

"..and that's how I managed to eat eighteen tubs of Choco Mocca without throwing up," Kevin proclaimed, gleefully.

Macy laughed, impressed and finished off her own ice cream.

"How are things going with you?" Kevin asked, leaning forward. "What do you do now?"

Feeling panic rise in her chest, her instructors words about _cover, Macy, it's all about the cover_ ringing in her head and she tried to think about something that would make sense to Kevin. "I work with abandoned puppies," she said, quickly.

"Awesome!" Kevin looked proud and happy. His expression made something warm and _nice_ blossom through Macy's chest and she smiled shyly from around her spoon. Kevin spent the next five minutes looking torn between asking her questions and just being proud that she worked with puppies. "What are they like?"

There used to be a pet shop down the road from her house so she knew exactly which stories to tell; about Dalmatian's and Poodles, puppies sniffling her hands and curled around her and Kevin's face went softer with each word until the smile he was giving her was one she could feel right to her toes.

"You'll have to let me meet them some time."

Before Macy could panic about that, Kevin's phone started to ring and he picked it up with a mumbled, "Sorry."

She twirled her spoon around the almost empty carton, waiting for him to finish and trying to come up with an excuse for Kevin _not_ to come around when he shut off the phone and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry. That was Joe, he's coming to pick me up. He has a movie premiere tonight."

His movie was called _Special Sauce_ or something and she couldn't remember the trailer very well but the posters were all over town, Joe's face staring down at her every time she stepped on the subway. It was probably why Stella didn't really leave her apartment much unless she had to. Personally, Macy thought she had issues that needed sorting out about the middle Lucas, not that she would ever say so aloud. She was the best friend and had to be supportive - unless that support meant that she missed out on an ice cream date with Kevin. Macy wasn't _that_ nice. Kevin was sweet and funny and everything she remembered.

"I can't believe he's in a Hollywood movie. He's doing so well and I bet Nick's been making awesome music too, right?" she said, unable to help the memories of liking Nick just a little bit too much. He wasn't a very nice person, though, and Macy didn't want to have to fight to get the things that Kevin could give so freely. "They are doing okay, aren't they?"

Kevin's smile faded a little and Macy thought she had said something wrong, until Kevin put his spoon back on the table. "Obviously Joe's acting now and I think he likes it but sometimes you can't be sure because he gets that face he wears when he's trying to like it but is just waiting to see if it ends up being _cool_."

She knew those traits. Joe didn't sound like he'd changed much.

"Nick wants to take over the world."

She paused, not quite sure she had heard correctly, but Kevin just continued to eat his ice cream and she laughed, nervous. She was pretty sure Kevin had been joking. This would be Very Bad News if Nick decided to just become the World's Worst Dictator and try to kill everybody.

+

"I hate my brother," was the first thing Joe said as he slammed the car door and lent against it. Macy looked at him, horrified. Kevin managed pretty well in the clothing department but Joe was obviously missing Stella's impeccable advice. Somebody needed to tell Joe that those slacks really didn't go with a bow-tie and cardigan. He looked like some fifties reject. Or Nick.

Kevin looked sad. "What did I do?"

Joe shook his head angrily. "Not you, Kevin. _Nick_. He actually built a base in the side of a mountain. Can you believe him? Why can't he just bleat about his epic man pain in the villa we _already_ own?"

Taking hold of Macy's hand, Kevin squeezed it gently. "You know, it might be kind of cool to have a brother who's an evil villain."

"I don't know," Macy said, trying to picture Nick with an evil laugh and failing. "I don't think he's cut out for World Domination." She patted Kevin's hand. "He's not good with the follow through."

"But it will be just like the movies! We can hang out in the batcave!"

"He's not _Batman_, Kevin! There is going to be no 'hanging out in the batcave' or wearing tight suits and swinging from buildings. Nick is going to be a _psychopath_ with bombs and a white cat that he strokes to calm down and there will be _menacing looks_."

"How is that different from now?"

Joe didn't have an answer for that one. Macy was sad that neither of them knew she was a spy. That way they wouldn't know that Nick was going to get his ass handed to him by a girl.

Maybe she could apologise to Nick, make it easier on him. She didn't want to really hurt him, after all. Just - if you were going to go around claiming you wanted to rule the world and build your house in the side of a mountain then there were just some things you were going to have to deal with.

Macy Misa: Spy Extraordinaire was one of them.

+

The first time Nick invited them all to his 'base' was a Sunday.

Kevin took her hand, holding it all throughout the plane ride and not letting go, even at Joe's mocking expression. He had his sunglasses resting on the end of his nose, peering at them over the top. "I like your hairstyle today, Macy."

She knew he was teasing her about the ribbons she'd used; both gifts from Kevin. Macy thought about informing him that Stella was back in New York somewhere, waiting for his call but she would never be that cruel. Still, if he kept it up, she might just have to. His choice of footwear and apparel were fast deteriorating into something questionable. It was like that horrendous Brazilian music video - or whatever it had been for - all over again.

She was still hoping that this would all turn out to be a joke; that Nick's base would just be what Joe had described it as and somewhere for Nick to write songs about his life and how much it sucked and not a base that had the potential to blow up Russia.

+

When they touched down, Kevin was first to climb out of the plane, jumping down onto the tarmac and reaching up for Macy's hand. She took it gratefully, letting him pull her down onto the airstrip. She had to admit that the place was impressive. Much larger than on any plans or photos she had seen and definitely with a touch of Nick Lucas. It reminded her of Tracy Island and Macy wondered if he'd designed it after a marathon Thunderbird's run.

Joe dropped down next to them, tugging on the scarf styled artistically around his neck. He actually looked pretty good today, even if the shoes commemorating his love for the United States were a bit much.

The door to the compound opened and Nick was framed in the overly large doorway, looking tiny but menacing.

Joe grinned. "Aren't you supposed to have two giant bodyguards flanking you right about now?"

"If you joke about me being short one more time," Nick threatened, clenching his fists.

Holding up his hands in surrender, Joe jerked his head at the pool lining the outside of the building. "We can use that, right?"

"Yes," Nick said, motioning at them to follow him into the base. Everything was so cold and basic, grey and boring. It suited Nick down to the ground, Macy thought, as she followed Nick down to the main area of the compound. He called it the 'house section' with a completely serious face and Macy didn't know whether to laugh at him or pity him. The Nick Lucas she remembered couldn't possibly have been driven this insane, could he?

She clung to Kevin's hand, looking everywhere and cataloguing everything. She might need the information for later, for the assignment she had been given. Dammit, Nick.

Nick pulled open the door to the main room, stretching out and back. It was massive and open and there was a Grand Piano sitting right in the center of the room. She let go of Kevin's hand and approached it slowly, reaching out to touch the lid of the keys. The music had always been her favourite thing about JONAS and she felt a little thrill to think that Nick, in all of his crazy right now, still had some piece of music left in him. "Do you still play?"

"Sometimes," Nick said, stiffly and she got the message.

"Nick," Joe said, deadpan. "Please tell me that you're just babysitting this dog."

Macy looked over to where Joe was pointing down at a dog, a golden retriever stretched out on his sofa. Nick coloured under the words, eyes narrowing.

"Oh!" Kevin said, suddenly getting it. "This is your _attack_ dog!"

Nick looked murderous. "Elvis is not an attack dog, Kevin."

Joe crowed and grinned. "Elvis? _Elvis_? You named your super killer attack dog _Elvis_? That's like calling your white killer kitty cat _Mr. Snuggles_."

"...."

Turning away from them, Macy tried to hide her grin. She looked out of the large windows set into the wall behind the piano and sucked in a breath. The view was _gorgeous_. Kevin came up behind her, slipping an arm around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder. This had the potential to be a perfect place to hang out, she thought, as she had a particularly vivid flashback.

+

_"We have an assignment for you," Mr. Smith said, leaning across his desk and into her face. She turned her face away, a little creeped out by the man's moustache which just looked _alive_ on his face and reminded her of that time Nick had worn one for a stupid video he'd insisted they perform in the corridors of the school. It had been more than a little traumatising for everybody involved and there were still BOUNCE! posters stuck to the walls of the school. Joe had used superglue._

"Oh?"

Mr. Smith stared at her for what seemed like hours and then pulled back, pointing his remote at the large video screen on his wall. "This is your next target."

Nick's face flicked up on screen. The unfortunate school picture from his first year where he was still baby-faced and grinning with all of his teeth. He didn't do that so much anymore and Macy sighed a little.

"His name is Nicholas Lucas," Mr. Smith said, flicking to another image of Nick. Macy raised her eyebrows because Nick looked good_ now. Better than he had in High School and his _curls_. He was no Kevin but she couldn't help the little internal cheer that popped up at the thought that she'd liked him once._

Mr. Smith looked over his shoulder at her. "Lucas was part of a boy band in the early 2000's, JONAS, comprised of three brothers. I believe you are familiar with them?"

Macy nodded slowly. She should have expected that they'd know everything_ about her past, including her not-so-subtle attraction to every member of JONAS. Mostly Kevin. Nick a little bit. Maybe Joe. "I haven't heard anything of him in a long time."_

"That's because he's been very busy. He recently built a base in the side of a mountain." A new image flicked up on the screen of a grey and white building embedded into a mountain that didn't look familiar to Macy. What did look familiar, however, was Nick's face painted onto the side of the building.

"What."

"Oh. Apparently he loves himself," Mr. Smith said, dryly. "A lot."

Macy stared in abject fascination at Nick's face looking down at her from the video screen. "What exactly is my job?"

"Find out what he's planning," Mr. Smith said, talking to her slowly. "I know you know him and that will make it easier for you to infiltrate his circle."

What 'circle'?!_ Macy wanted to cry. Nick was a loner and always had been. The only people he'd ever been remotely nice to, and cared about, were his brothers and Stella. And Macy, sometimes. She kept this to herself and didn't exactly know why. Her relationship with the Lucas in question had not been, as she had hoped, a reason for her _not_ to be involved, but for her inclusion in this mission. "Alone?"_

Mr. Smith nodded. "Unless you think you're not up to the task."

"No, no," Macy said quickly. "I'll get the information you need and stop him."

Satisfied, Mr. Smith nodded.

 

+

 

"Macy?"

Kevin was waving a hand in front of her face. She blinked. "Oh, sorry."

Standing in the middle of Nick's base, her secret mission to _stop him_, she wondered if anyone would believe this.

+

Nick reached across the table for the salt and Macy felt ridiculously small in the chair. It had a large back with the Lucas family symbol on it and it was all very Dracula-esque. Nick really was taking this a bit too far. "I targeted Russia today," Nick said, proud.

Macy stared at him. "Russia?"

"Yes," Nick stared at her, seeing right through her and for one moment she thought he knew her secret. Then he turned away, trying to gauge Kevin's reaction. Joe hadn't been invited this time and Macy suspected it had to do with the Napoleonic jokes he kept making.

"This meat is good," Kevin offered, sipping from his glass.

Macy almost felt sorry for Nick. "Why do you want to blow up Russia?"

"There was this guy," Kevin started and then cut off at Nick's expression.

"Don't you think that actually _blowing up a country_ is a bit extreme?"

"No," Nick said, his tone final.

She felt a little out of her depth, trying to find a subject that wouldn't have Nick glaring at her as if he was invading his private time with Kevin. He shouldn't have _invited_ her if he didn't want her here. Then again, she was starting to think his need for attention from his brothers was a little endearing.

+

"He wants to blow up Russia," Macy said, locking herself in the bathroom.

"Is he listening?"

Macy rolled her eyes. "No. I swept for bugs and listening devices but I thought you should know right away. He's not exactly the sanest person on the planet right now."

"I don't know," Mr. Smith said. "I'm sure Gordon Brown is looking a little bit insane around the edges."

What did the British Prime Minister have to do with any of this?

"You are right, however." Mr. Smith continued. "We need to come up with a counter-offensive. We won't warn the Russians until we really have to. We don't want them launching anything our way on the whim of some twenty-year old kid with a God complex. Keep an eye on the situation, Agent Misa and alert of us of any developments."

Macy nodded and thumbed the phone off.

She had a feeling that with Nick's need impress both of his brothers, she was going to have no trouble at all keeping him in her sights.

+

Kevin took her for coffee at their local bistro, paying for it all and leading her to a table. He was painfully attentive to everything, making sure she was happy and Macy was pretty sure she was being swept off of her feet by everything he was doing. They watched a procession go by outside the window - a petition on Global Warming, probably - and nursed their drinks. She liked the coffee dates the best because they meant Kevin curling against her by the window, kissing her neck, cheek and nose, holding her as they watched the world go by. It was everything Macy had ever imagined.

She contemplated telling him she was a spy but then she'd have to tell him about her assignment and _Nick_ and she wasn't entirely sure he understood the concept of what Nick was doing. It made her sad and confused and mad at Nick. She was just going to have to convince him that blowing up Russia was not more important than Kevin.

+

"Hello?"

"Kevin! Where have you been? I've been calling you for hours."

"I was busy," Kevin said, putting his hand in his pocket and letting Macy hook her arm through his.

Macy could hear the huff of breath that Nick was expelling. "Well, you should know that whilst you have been running around doing whatever it is you were doing,_ I_ have successfully calibrated my awesome new warheads to fire on Russia at my command. I am going to blow it up. You know, after you and Joe come and see it."

"I'm about to go and watch Ice Hockey with Macy. Can't it wait?"

There was a long pause and Kevin looked down at his phone. Macy rolled her eyes. Nick always had been big on the drama. "Kevin. I have snipers."

"Awesome. I'll come and see them after the hockey?"

Macy was pretty sure that no matter how many times Nick made threats about snipers and warheads, Kevin was never going to get the message. She slid her hand into her pocket, thumb hovering over the Emergency Panic Button on her phone. There was another pause and this time Kevin added a, "Please?" on the end.

Nick bit out a huge sigh. "Fine," he muttered.

The dialling tone rang out for ages before Kevin snapped his phone shut and gave Macy a shrug. "I guess he's okay with that. Are you?"

Smiling, Macy patted his arm and pulled her hand back out of her pocket. Nick was hard work but she'd see this through.

+

"We've come up with a solution to the Lucas problem," Mr. Smith said. She'd been called in for an 'emergency meeting' which was really just an excuse for them to lecture her on the importance of secure lines and security. It wasn't as if she left her phone lying around for anybody to pick up and look over - she was _careful_. "Given that you are already so close to the Lucas boys and that they seem to trust you, we have decided that you will be the perfect person to take care of our little problem."

Macy just stared at him. They didn't expect her to _kill him_, did they? "I don't think killing him is entirely necessary," she bit out, watching Mr. Smith's face. "I don't ever remember a time when Nick actually followed through on a threat. He was about show and intimidation, he never actually _hurt_ anyone. You don't have to kill him."

Mr. Smith leaned across the desk. "Lucas doesn't seem to be in any hurry to dispatch the missiles just yet."

"He's just trying to impress his brothers," Macy said, miserably. She didn't want to have to see Kevin's face when all this was over.

Mr. Smith looked thoughtful for a moment. "Which just makes your job easier. It gives you time to destroy the system, cut off Lucas' plan to missile Russia and bring him in."

Although relieved that she no longer had to kill Nick, she didn't know what to say. If she didn't take the job now, somebody else would be assigned and they would just sweep in and take Nick prisoner, no regard for Kevin and Joe and the consequences. If _she_ was assigned, maybe she could come up with another plan, find a way to get Nick out of this as long as he promised to leave Russia alone.

"Fine," Macy said, eventually. She stood up, reaching across the table to shake Mr. Smith's hand and left the small room, feeling more claustrophobic as she did so. Nick was going to owe her _so much_ for this.

+

"Why does Nick want to blow up Russia?" Macy asked one night, berating herself internally for bringing up Nick when she was alone with Kevin.

He carded his fingers through her hair, chin resting on the top of her head and she could feel his small shrug. "Nick's music producer was Russian. They worked together on his last album and it had so much hype and expectation and this guy just wasn't good. He wanted Nick to change his sound and it came out sort of gravelly and old - like Nick was about a hundred. Apparently is was all the rage in Russia."

"I guess it didn't go so well?" Macy asked. She hadn't known anything about Nick's last album. She thought he'd stopped at _Rose Garden_ which had been a compilation of love songs and it had sold so many copies they almost couldn't meet demand. Nick's ego must have inflated to the _size_ of Russia.

"It bombed," Kevin said, entirely without irony. He sounded sad.

Macy turned a little, looking up at Kevin. She could guess the rest. Nick hadn't known what the appropriate response to failure was and decided to blow up Russia for the faults of one man. "Your brother is insane, you know that?"

Kevin grinned. "I know. It's kind of cool, though, because he bought me a dancing lemur."

Blinking, Macy wondered if she'd heard correctly and then decided the best policy was just to leave that alone. "Still, having an album that didn't sell must have been hard."

Kevin kissed the top of her head. "I'm not exactly sure what he did with the Producer, but I don't think he's making music anymore."

+

Breaking into Nick's 'security tight' mountain was easy.

Macy had simply used a hairpin and quick thinking, evading security in the way only way she could. You didn't become a superspy without learning how air ducts worked. She'd suffered a _lot_ for that in basic training, and her knees still hadn't recovered.

She wondered what it was that a surprise villain did in his spare time. She expected he'd be planning his next move. Not that there _were_ many more moves Nick had left than to just _blow up _Russia. He wasn't very imaginative. It was unfortunate she liked him so much otherwise she'd laugh at him. Chuckling, she afforded herself a little mocking.

A guy with his house in a mountain was in no place to judge her.

Navigating her way through the air ducts, following the small blip on her phone that would lead her to Nick, she caught the distinct strains of music. Music! From Nick Lucas, writer extraordinaire and mastermind behind such hits as _Tell me Why_ and _Give Love a Try_. Macy was about to hear a new song. Oh, how she wished she had a reco-

_Macy, this is_ work _not fun._

Taking a deep breath and crawling along the vent, Macy tried to will herself to calm down. Nick was a job. She had to forget that he was a Lucas, a musician and focus on the job at hand. She could ask him later if he'd play it for her.

+

Poking her head around the next corner she could see the vent and crawled up to it, looking down through the bars. So this was Nick's inner sanctum. His bedroom of awesome. His -

He needed to _tidy_ his room. How was she supposed to drop from the air vent onto a pile of dirty clothes? She curled her fingers into the vent and pried it lose from the wall. Well, sometimes you just had to do things that were distasteful. Falling into Nick's dirty laundry would just have to be one of them.

Macy slid the vent cover down beside her, back into the duct, and kept her eye on Nick. He was oblivious, bent over the guitar on his lap and brow drawn in frustration. He was a genius in the lyrics department, in Macy's opinion, but sometimes he needed to loosen up. He wasn't going to write an epic hit by throwing out so much paper.

Belatedly she realised that some of the music he was playing was familiar. _Hail to the Chief_ wasn't something you often forgot, but the fact that Nick was blending it with music of his own was a little bit of a shock and sort of ridiculous.

She dropped down onto the floor, looking back over to where Nick was still writing, chewing the end of the pencil in his hand. Elvis snuffled a little, but didn't move from his position at Nick's feet.

"You know, sometimes I think this should be easier."

_Crap_. She'd been detected!

"You are absolutely no help. I'll just get a cat next time," Nick said, and Macy realised he was talking to _Elvis_. "At least a cat would respect the fact that an evil genius needs an appropriate theme song."

Macy dropped her head down onto her chest, trying to stifle her laughter. It was a bit pathetic to spend your free time writing yourself a _theme tune_. Nick was either very lonely or very sad. Maybe a combination of both. Shaking her head, she moved slowly across the room, keeping low to the floor and looking back over her shoulder. Still none the wiser to her presence, Nick was now strumming at the guitar.

She slipped around the door and into the main control room. Nick's main computer bank was set into the corner of the room, and Macy set to work. Hacking into Nick's computer was also amazingly simple (his password was _mrpresident_ which was _such_ a surprise) and found it easy to navigate around the system. Collecting the data from Nick's entire network was going to take a while and she decided to hack into the menial functions of the super computer. It was just a little fun to mess with all of the settings, change the system functions around and disable the missiles completely. She had no doubt that he'd fix it, he hadn't built this whole place without knowing a few things of his own, but she was going to make it incredibly difficult for him.

+

On their fourth coffee date, Kevin bought her a necklace. It was gold and long and he put it around her neck slowly, smiling at her expression. "Do you like it?"

She nodded, speechless, touching the small diamond set into the chain. "It's lovely. You don't have to buy me things," she said.

"I want to." Kevin's face went soft. "I like spending time with you."

"Me too," she said, taking Kevin's hand and resting back against him.

+

"I think someone is breaking into my base," Nick said, seriously, as if this was something everybody should be able to sympathise with.

Joe raised his eyebrows and then proceeded to drown his chips in vinegar and ketchup. The four of them had gone out for something to eat and Macy had been worried she'd be the like the third wheel but they were treating her as if she were one of them. It was a little overwhelming but Kevin had had his arm around her shoulders for approximately thirteen minutes and showed no signs of moving it and Macy couldn't focus on anything else properly.

"They're hacking into my systems and messing them all around. I tried to take a shower this morning and they'd rigged the water to the fire alarm. I never want to stand outside in the freezing cold with just a towel _ever again_."

Macy snickered into her plate. Oh, that had been one of the better ones. Nick glared at her from across the table but Joe was grinning and he punched her shoulder. "There's hope for you yet, Misa."

"Take this _seriously_," Nick bit out, slamming a hand down on the table.

Kevin wrinkled his nose. "Why would you only be wearing a towel?"

Nick looked at him incredulously. "I don't shower in my clothes, Kevin."

"But surely you can turn the fire alarm off? Why did you have to go outside?"

Opening his mouth to say something, Nick held up his fork and then paused, thinking about it. Kevin was gifted with moments of clarity but Nick was rarely affected by moments of stupidity.

Macy smothered her laugh behind her hand this time but Joe was not so lucky. "Wow, Nick. I thought only Kevin was that stupid."

Kevin made a face and Macy patted his knee, squeezing gently. "He doesn't mean it that way, Kevin."

Giving her a blinding smile, Kevin bent back over his plate where he was attempting to write JONAS in the sauce. Nick reached over and slapped the back of Joe's head. He didn't look pleased at having been mocked.

"I don't know how they got in but rest assured when I find him, I will kill him."

"Why is it a him?" Macy asked, hot on the heels of Nick's threat.

"They left their giant man prints all over my computer," Nick sulked.

Macy was outraged. Man prints! Bloody Nick Lucas and his stupid mouth. "I'm quite sure a woman could be just as skilled."

"Yeah, Nick, what if it's some hot chick?" Joe chimed in, waving a chip around theatrically. "What if you like, kill her and she ends up being some bodacious babe you want to throw down, huh?"

"Did you just say _bodacious_?" Nick said incredulously, at the same time Macy started to choke on her chips.

Kevin slapped her back and she took two gulping breaths, composing herself. "Sorry."

"Are you alright?" Kevin asked, touching her cheek in concern.

Macy's heart stopped, looking back into Kevin's eyes. Oh, this was all going to go horribly wrong because she was falling in love with Kevin and Nick wanted to blow up Russia and she was going to have to do something about it. "Fine," she said eventually, smiling.

"As sweet as all this is," Nick said, whilst Joe made gagging noises beside him, "I have to get back. Try and fix whatever damage has been done."

"I hope you find them," Macy said, sweetly.

+

When Macy got home, her next door neighbour was standing on the doorstep, holding a bunch of flowers. "Macy! I thought you'd be coming home about now. These came for you this morning."

Taking the flowers from Rose's outstretched hands, Macy sniffed them. "Was there a note?"

"No. The guy was a singing telegram or something. Sung a song about flowers and petals and how your love is akin to fireflies. His name was 'Kevin'. Well, his name tag said Steve, but he said he was supposed to be Kevin, so I let it go."

"Oh," Macy said, smiling to herself. "That was so sweet."

Thanking Rose and shutting the door behind her, Macy sniffed the flowers again, letting herself relish the scent. Kevin was so sweet and amazing and she was so _lucky_.

_the flowers were sweet. thank you._

She sent the text and set the flowers in water.

_roses are red, violets are blue, surgar is sweet and so r u._

She decided telling him that sugar only had one 'r' defeated the purpose of the text.

+

Grabbing a towel from her closet, Macy shoved it into her bag.

Nick had invited them all to his base for surfing. She still couldn't quite make the connection in her head that Nick was a _sociopath_. Then again, this was the same kid who had folded a fork in half when Joe had dropped a pint of milk in his lap. The signs had been there early; if only somebody had caught them.

"Macy, you ready?" Kevin called. He was standing in her living room, hands in his pockets. Apparently Nick was picking them up from the airstrip and Joe had offered them a ride - and the use of his surfboards.

Wrapping his arm around her shoulders, Kevin took her bag and guided her out to the car. Macy liked all of the attention - and all of the gifts - and felt wanted and loved under Kevin's attention. She thought she might love him but admitting that to herself, to Kevin, was so not on her mind right now. She had Nick to deal with and his tendencies to be a bit _out there_ when Joe and Kevin scoffed at his attempts to impress them.

+

Nick took them the long way around, the back of the base spreading out across the rocks and down towards the beach.

As they passed through one of the corridors, Macy almost walked into the back of Joe as he stopped dead. "Nick? Did you know there's a man down here."

Macy peered over Joe's shoulder to where the man was imprisoned, thick bars separating him from the cell and the corridor. "Please help me," he said, his Russian accent thick with panic.

"Keep walking," Nick said, eyes narrowing at the man. Macy felt a bit weird, standing in her flip-flops, holding a surfboard and staring at a man imprisoned under _Nick Lucas'_ mountain base. Her life was so surreal. "Sometimes, when you give bad advice, there are _consequences_. He's learning a lesson and sometimes lessons _hurt_."

The man hung his head, sobbing into the bars and Macy felt Kevin tugging on her arm. "He's gone a bit mad," he said, sympathetic.

Macy wasn't sure Nick was the only one.

"It's the Russian Producer," Joe said, edging over to them and staring at the back of Nick's head. "How long do you think he's been down here?"

His tone was ponderous, curious rather than judging and he was obviously used to this. Macy remembered the time Nick had locked the Math teacher in the supply closet for giving him an F.

Knowing that she would have to inform Mr. Smith of this development, Macy shrugged and just hooked her fingers into the side of Kevin's suit, hanging on. Following Nick out onto the rocks, Macy took in the breathtaking landscape, the water stretching out before them and the way Kevin looked, tall and proud next to her. Maybe she could hold off telling Mr. Smith for a few more days. Besides, Kevin in a wet suit? _Yes please_.

+

"What do you mean kidnapped?" Macy cried, looking down at her phone. She ignored the people around her, staring in abject fascination. "I just left them!"

"Apparently Nick is slicker than we thought," Mr. Smith said, frowning. His eyebrows looked huge when he did that and Macy made a mental note to tell him about it later. "He kidnapped Joe and Kevin about three minutes ago."

"You can't _kidnap_ someone that you're taking home!" Macy closed her eyes and counted to ten. "You know exactly when they were kidnapped but you can't send anyone to stop it?"

"You were there," Mr. Smith pointed out.

"I was with all three of them! You told me to get inside their inner circle."

Mr. Smith peered into the screen. "I assume you have done so? I'm sure you have all of the boy's confidence by now. This is the perfect time to shut down the entire operation. We'll send you re-enforcements should you need them. We have every faith in you, Macy."

Macy stared at the blank screen and contemplated throwing it at the wall. Oh, _perfect_.

+

Nick was surprisingly easy to find.

When you were an evil genius you obviously forgot that signing the air rental forms as _Nick Jonas_ wasn't such a brilliant idea. As if nobody would put Nick Lucas and the band JONAS together. When she dealt with the whole Russia thing she was going to have to give him tips on how to be a _proper_ evil genius. She'd been to the base so many times she could get there in her sleep. Putting in a call to Mr. Smith at HQ, she was given a plane and a pilot, some mouthy guy called Greg, and flown to the Island in record time.

"Did you know this guy carved his face into the door?" Greg said, looking over his shoulder at her. "Talk about issues. You know, I heard he once had an album out and it bombed so hard he shaved all of the hair off of his producer and locked him in a dungeon. Man, that guy is screwed in the head."

Macy buried her face in her hands and wanted to die.

+

When Macy arrived at Nick's bedroom, she was pissed. Fighting her way through the base hadn't really been much of a problem but seeing Kevin waving at her from inside, a sad smile on his face was too much.

"I see we've upgraded from "Growl"," Joe said, picking up a fragrance from the bed stand and raising his eyebrows. "'Dominion'? Subtle, Nick. Very subtle."

Nick glared at him. "I don't need to be subtle. I'm master of the Universe."

"Uh, not yet." Kevin interjected, looking sheepish. "I really think you should let Macy in, Nick."

Nick looked over at the door, where Macy was using a hair pin to try and pry it open. "Dammit, Macy. I just had that resprayed!"

Macy stepped back and gave him a glare. She was angry at everything. At Nick for trying to blow up Russia, kidnapping Kevin and Joe and making her scale the building in _high-heeled_ shoes. Oh, Nick Lucas was not going to get away with this one. "You may inhabit a laughably small frame, really tiny, borderline miniature, but it's filled with far too much rage! Get over yourself, Nick Lucas, not everything in this world is about you."

Opening his mouth a few times, Nick didn't quite know what to say.

"Now open this door right now before I do worse than just stick a hairpin in the lock."

Kevin rushed forward, unlocking the door and Nick made no move to stop him. Macy's hair was all out of place, her clothes rumpled and shoes scuffed. She was getting a little annoyed. "You are a selfish little dictator," she said, poking Nick in the chest. "Kidnapping Kevin just because you want them to _visit you_ once in a while is a little excessive. You keep a man locked in your basement because he helped you write crap music and you said my hands were giant _man prints_."

"What?" Nick said, hideously out of his depth.

"I'm a _spy_, Nick." Macy threw her arms out. "You're really crap at the whole villain thing, by the way."

Kevin clapped his hands together, gleefully. "You're a spy? I'm dating a _spy_. This is better than James Bond!"

Nick sighed. "Why did you have to be my James Bond? I was supposed to blow up Russia and take a swim with Joe and Kevin in the giant pool. Now I'm going to have to pretend to be evil all over again."

Macy rolled her eyes. "Am I really going to have to do it, Nick?"

"Do what?"

"We're going to have to have the obligatory Mr. Big/James Bond show down and you know I'm going to win."

Nick's eyes flared in challenge. "Oh, _are you_?"

Macy grinned at him, wide. "Really? You want to go?"

"I don't think that's a good idea," Kevin said, holding up his hands.

"Got any popcorn?" Joe asked Nick, jumping up onto his desk to watch. "Come on, Kevin. We've got front line seats to the best smack down in history. Maybe you should lend Nick your heels. Then they'd be just about even."

"I heard that," Nick snapped.

Macy made a beckoning motion with her hand and Nick lunged.

It was so on.

+

"Um, _ow_." Nick glared at Macy from the floor, one hand cupping his mouth. There was a bruise blossoming on his face just under his eye and when he drew his hand away there was blood on his lip. "You didn't have to go that far!"

Kevin's eyes widened and he drew forward. Nick held out a hand for him to take but Kevin ignored him and took Macy by the shoulders. "Are you okay?"

"Hey!" Nick said, pulling a face. "Why are you asking her?"

His glare would have melted a lesser person but Macy just gave him a wan smile, a little bit of the smirk she'd perfected from him. Pushing her hair out of her face, she nodded. "I'm fine, Kevin. He never could beat me at Martial Arts."

Nick, whose slogan had always been _I win everything, ever_ back in high school, snarled. "Oh, that's right, mock the person with the _split lip_."

"You're such a girl," Joe said, taking Nick's hand and hauling him to his feet. He looked at Nick sideways, cocky and sure. "Are you alright, Nicky?"

"I hate everybody in this room. I just want you all to know that."

+

"You still can't blow up Russia!" Macy said.

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because?! What kind of argument is that?" Nick was looking at her with that expression he adopted when he thought he was the smartest genius alive. Three points shy, _right_.

"Because," Macy said again, saying the only thing that sprang to mine. "I love Kevin."

There was a long pause and then Kevin blinked. "Wait, what?"

"How is that relevant to _Russia_?" Nick cut in, throwing up his hands.

Kevin was speechless, staring at Macy in surprise and a little bit of excitement. Macy felt something warm spread through her chest but she was still looking at Nick. "Do you want Kevin to have a murderer for a brother?"

"What?" Kevin said again. He wasn't getting past Macy's declaration anytime soon and they all ignored him.

Joe grinned and elbowed Nick in the ribs. "Dude, she's totally using Kevin against you. _Genius_."

Nick glared at him, angry, sad and a little humiliated but he actually looked thoughtful.

"Is it working? Nick, you've gone soft!" Joe crowed.

Macy was pretty sure that Joe was going to die a horrible death when Nick got him alone and allowed herself a small internal cheer. He'd been a bit of a dick ever since she'd arrived. "I could let you escape?"

Nick was close to breaking. She could feel it.

"You'd have to promise not to blow up anymore countries - including Russia - and you have to go _now_. I called in some re-enforcements already. Sorry."

"What?!" Nick looked out of the window, as if spies were going to come crashing through the base windows at that very moment.

"I thought you were going to kill Kevin," Macy said, contrite.

Nick looked more angry at that suggestion than anything else and Macy really did feel guilty. It was not _her_ fault that Nick had misplaced a few screws and gone completely insane, locking his music producer in the basement and carving his face into the base doorway. _God complex_ was all Macy was saying.

"I wouldn't have killed Kevin!" Nick protested. "I just wanted them to like me."

"You were going to blow up _Russia_," Macy said, slowly, as if Nick was stupid. "How would that make them like you?"

"I don't like Borscht," Joe said, unhelpfully.

Kevin nodded. "And blondes don't really do anything for me," he chimed in and Macy wanted to slap him and kiss him all at the same time.

"There was that girl one time who broke Kevin's heart," Joe added.

"Scandinavia, Joe, not Russia. And I cannot believe we are having this conversation when re-enforcements are coming _right now_ and you're still here."

Nick waved a hand vaguely. "They can't do anything to me."

"I hacked into your _shower_, Nick. They can pretty much do anything. You were a bit sloppy," she said, feeling guilty.

"WHAT? Look, just because - _you_ hacked into my shower?"

"Oh for- Nick, she confessed to being a _spy_. Why wouldn't it have been her?" Joe poked Nick in the chest. "I'm bored. Your pool is awesome and all but I have a movie to star in, remember?"

Nick frowned, looking at each of them in turn. He didn't seem to quite know what he should be doing, only that he was failing spectacularly as a dictator.

"How do we just explain away Nick's crazy?" Kevin asked, still looking at Macy like she was the best thing he had ever seen in his life.

Joe clicked his fingers. "Just make out it was Nick's mid-life crisis."

"I'm only twenty-three!"

"Which_ is_ mid-life for you, you old man," Joe said, softening the jibe with a punch to Nick's shoulder.

Macy and Kevin exchanged a look. It was just the right sort of stupid excuse that would work. If they had Nick's entire life on file they'd known about his obsessive nature and old man tendencies. She could probably even convince them that Nick's mental breakdown from his bombed album was enough to send him off the rails.

"Don't even think about telling everybody I went crazy. Nobody will ever take me seriously again."

"They never did," Joe said, smiling. "They were just humouring you."

"Thanks. Thanks a lot. I have the best family _ever_."

Kevin smiled over at Macy, taking her hand. He looked at each of them in turn. "You do, Nick. You really do."

+

Nick's Sorry I Tried To Blow Up Russia party was a massive hit.

He invited everyone, from the snipers at his base to Mr. Smith, who had stared at the invitation for a very long time before declaring that he'd like to take Mrs. Brown from Accounting. (Macy wasn't even aware they'd _had_ an accounting department in the organisation.) She was a little shocked that her explanation had worked but things just seemed to work out when the Lucas brothers were involved and she wasn't going to fight it.

She looked at herself in the mirror, smoothing down her dress and smiling to herself. The corsage that Kevin had brought her was around her wrist and her mother had told she'd looked nice when Macy had sent her the MMS message earlier. Twirling, Macy felt the best she had in a long time. She'd stopped a crazy short dictator from blowing up Russia, freed a poor old man from a cell on a remote Island base _and_ had Kevin Lucas escorting her to the party.

All in all, it was a good month's work.

"Macy," Stella called, "We're going to be late!"

Oh, that was her as well, she thought, shutting the bedroom door behind her and taking the stairs slowly. Joe was leaning against the mantelpiece, one hand in his pocket and the other was curled around Stella's hip. She'd convinced Stella it was in her best interest to start dating Joe again because there was clearly no other way Joe was going to survive the world without her. Nick was first in line to kill him and Macy was pretty sure she was next.

"Where's Kevin?" Macy asked, clutching her purse to her chest.

Joe smiled at her, nodding back at the door. "He's already at the party. He had a surprise he wants to give you."

"Oh." Macy tried not to feel disappointed that he hadn't come to pick her up. Still, she would be arriving in style and Kevin was still going to be there, still going to want to dance with her and this was as much her party as Nick's. "Let's go, then."

+

Kevin was standing in the middle of the room, looking a little lost, but he perked up when he saw her. He was wearing a white tux and tie and was a little nervous.

Macy gave him a soft smile, letting him know that she wasn't mad and as she approached, he took both of her hands in his.

"Macy. When you said you loved me - I realised I should have said that I love you back."

Warmth flooded Macy from head to toe and she knew she must be blushing but she didn't even care. "Kevin-"

"Let me finish," Kevin said, looking flustered. "I'm really glad I bumped into you at the mall that day. And I - I think I'd like to keep making you happy."

She didn't know what to say. Kevin was looking at her like _that_, the apple of his eye, and she didn't know what she was supposed to do. Taking the decision out of her hands, Kevin cupped her cheek, dipping her slightly in his arms as he leaned in to kiss her.

It was everything corny she had ever read in romance novels; bells, harps, Nick rolling his eyes and Joe whistling.

Maybe not completely romantic but definitely _perfect_.

**Author's Note:**

> Russia was not harmed in the writing of this fic. (The dancing lemur was on loan and is now safe and sound back at home. The Russian music Producer was an actor - he was never in any danger.) Thank you.


End file.
